Ah, the new construction home — so fresh, so clean, so… full of surprises.
You walk in and smell that intoxicating blend of drywall dust and overly ambitious dreams. Everything looks perfect — until you realize that the light switch in the bathroom controls the garage door, and the only thing included in the “landscaping package” was a single dying bush and a bag of mulch from Home Depot.
Before you sign your life (and a solid chunk of your savings) over to the builder, here’s what you really need to check:
1. Open Every Door — Including the Ones to Narnia
Cabinets, closets, pantries, and especially attic access doors. Because sometimes “custom touch” means “we forgot a handle.”
2. Test Every Light Switch Like You’re on a Game Show
Will it turn on a light? The garbage disposal? A fan on the neighbor’s porch? Only one way to find out — flip it and see if something starts humming or spinning.
3. Appliances: Included or Just Pictured for Vibes?
Builders love to showcase stainless steel appliances… that aren’t actually included. That fridge in the model home? It’s like the fake fruit on the kitchen counter — for looks only. Always read the fine print or you’ll be storing groceries in a Yeti cooler.
4. Cabinet Doors That Open Without a Jenga Strategy
Just because it looks like a drawer doesn’t mean it opens. Bonus points if you can open the dishwasher without hitting a cabinet, the oven, or your own knees.
5. Garage Door Opener: Optional Luxury
You’d think a garage would come with a way to open it. But no, sometimes that’s a $500 “upgrade.” Because nothing says luxury like lifting your garage door manually in July.
6. Paint and Trim: Or, How Many Shades of White Are Too Many?
That “custom paint job” might just be primer. Run your hand along the wall. If it feels like sandpaper and leaves a white powder on your pants, congratulations! You’re the proud owner of a one-coat wonder.
7. Backyard: Is it a Yard or a Dirt Stage?
Does it come with sod, or just the vague promise of “nature”? Ask, or your backyard might be a future mud wrestling pit every time it rains.
8. Check for the Elusive Pantry Light
Why is it always the pantry? You’ll have every recessed light known to man, but not one for where you keep the snacks. Rude.
9. Ceiling Fans: You May Be the Fan
They’re not always included. Want air circulation? Hope you’re good with fanning yourself with a Costco flyer.
10. Ask About the Warranty Like You’re Negotiating a Used Car
Make sure you know what’s covered — and for how long — because when that builder-grade faucet starts leaking like your toddler’s sippy cup, you’ll want answers.
Final Thoughts:
New builds can be amazing — modern layouts, energy efficiency, and a very short punch list if you do your homework. But don’t let the fresh paint and trendy finishes distract you from the basics.
Bring a checklist. Bring a sense of humor. And maybe bring an outlet tester — because sometimes the outlets are just… decorative.
The Overly Caffeinated Agent 